WETWANG. ATHLETIC. FOOTBALL. CLUB.
An unwavering commitment to the beautiful game.
No fixtures to distract us.
FROM THE CLUB OFFICE
FOUNDING ANNOUNCEMENT
Wetwang Athletic Football Club announces the opening of its official home on the internet. The first team has been named. The colours have been specified. The absence of a match has been noted.
Founding supporters are invited to join the WAF Watchers. No sporting ability is required of supporters or, at present, anyone else.
Register your support →FIRST TEAM
The manager remains A. Way. Those Other Guys remain available in principle.
CLUB SHOP
Scarf, cap and mug order requests are now open. The Official Windows invite sponsors of considerable distinction. £1. Seven days.
THE INSTITUTION
Founded by Marc and Jean for the enduring pleasure of taking Wetwang Athletic Football Club extraordinarily seriously.
Our history is already distinguished by an unbroken record of not playing. Our ambitions remain entirely consistent with that achievement.
Wetwang is fundamental to our identity. Our sporting home is A. Field. Our supporters are the WAF Watchers. Our attention never wavers.
THE FOOTBALL DEPARTMENT
Selected. Named. Untroubled by fixtures.
Manager A. Way
Substitutes Those Other Guys
WAF Watchers chairmanThe Honourable Mr V. Oyeur
RecruitmentA. Brick
Grounds staffA. Field · D. Grass · N. Turf · C. M. Ent
Head chefPat Pending
OUR MYTHICAL HOME
The MILF Main Grandstand.
A commanding view of proceedings.
A ground of immense significance to the club. Field B remains a matter for the appropriate committee.
A. Field and its grandstand are fictional club settings. No ownership, tenancy or permission to use a real Wetwang facility is claimed.
THE OFFICIAL SUPPORTERS’ PUB · IN CLUB MYTHOLOGY
Good beer. Great company. No matches.
Under the culinary supervision of Pat Pending.
WI-FI: iLanHardlyBelieveIt
A fictional pub. No premises, food or drink are offered for sale.
THE OFFICIAL COLLECTION
Objects of considerable club significance. Order requests are open; payment follows confirmation of availability and delivery.
THE ESSENTIAL SUPPORTER EQUIPMENT
One continuous white knit. WETWANG to the left. WAF FC to the right. A neck of independent means in the middle.
Maroon borders. Maroon fringes. Allegiance beyond reasonable doubt.
INSTITUTIONAL HEADWEAR
For keeping a level head in the absence of football.
£20 proposed item priceOFFICIAL REFRESHMENTS
Something to hold while holding your position.
£12 proposed item priceThe Effervescent Black & Off-Pale kit and supporters’ beanie remain in development. They are not currently accepting orders.
Orders subject to availability. Artwork shows approved design concepts; final samples and specifications are not yet confirmed. Requests are non-binding and no money is taken. Item prices are proposals; final price, any applicable tax and delivery charge, availability and delivery estimate will be confirmed before you choose to pay. If unavailable, you can decline or cancel without charge.
COMMERCIAL OPPORTUNITIES OF MODEST PROPORTIONS
Sponsor the Official Windows. Enter a name. Real or ridiculous. We will take it extremely seriously.
Your approved name appears at the bottom of this website under “Sponsored by:” for seven consecutive days. No football expertise required. No automatic renewal.
Payment setup is being completed. Reserve your name now; no payment is taken and no paid placement starts yet. Sponsorship is non-exclusive and buys a text credit on this website, not an endorsement or rights over real windows. Your week starts when your paid, approved credit is published. Names are reviewed: absurdity welcome; threats, hate, personal information, deceptive impersonation and links are not. An unsuitable name can be changed before payment.
THE CLUB ORDER DESK
Requests are saved in the club ledger. No card details. No payment today.
The WAF FC shop is operated as a project of founding organisers Marc and Jean; no incorporated WAF company is claimed. This first stage accepts non-binding requests only. No stock, final manufacturing sample, fixed delivery date or completed payment facility is represented. Before a sale, the actual contracting seller and contact address, confirmed product specification, total price including applicable taxes and delivery, estimated dispatch and cancellation/returns/refund terms will be supplied. You choose whether to proceed; there is no payment obligation from this form.
Sponsorship is a proposed £1 one-off purchase of a non-exclusive website text credit for seven consecutive days starting on publication after verified payment and approval. No recurring charge, physical window, company ownership or endorsement is included. Public names are limited to 60 characters and displayed as plain text. We may decline threatening, hateful, private, deceptive or unlawful content and offer a name change before payment. Paid credits are never created by this public request form.
For requests we store a private random reference, item, quantity, proposed amount, email, requested sponsor name, status, timestamps and accepted terms version. Email is used for request administration only. Unpaid requests may be cancelled via the private receipt link, which also clears the stored email. Do not share that link: anyone holding it can see the request summary and cancel it while unpaid. Keep personal information out of sponsor names. Limited daily hashed network counters help prevent spam; raw network addresses are not stored in the order ledger. Hosting providers may retain security logs. No marketing consent is bundled. Unneeded unpaid requests will be reviewed for removal after 90 days; this is a manual process, not a promise of automated deletion. Paid transaction records, if later created, follow the seller’s applicable retention duties.
THE CLUB REMAINS IN SESSION
Join the conversation in the supporters’ room. Follow official bulletins without surrendering your inbox.
Add our RSS feed to your preferred feed reader for new club announcements. No account, email address or paid subscription required.
THE WAF WATCHERS
Become a founding supporter.
A free entry in the founding register and a downloadable supporter receipt. No name or email required. No mailing list. Just your support.
A NOTE FROM THE CLUB OFFICE
Wetwang is a real village in East Yorkshire, England. WAF FC is an independent creative institution with a fictional sporting identity. We are seeking a modest, genuine relationship with the village. No parish endorsement, local representative, correspondence address or ground-use agreement is currently claimed. A. Field, the squad and The Mythical WAF Spot belong to the club’s mythology.
Registration creates a random supporter reference and its registration date in our register. We do not ask for your name, email, address or payment details. Your reference is optionally stored on this device when you register, so you can retrieve the receipt. Clearing browser storage removes the device copy. Keep your receipt for your own records. This is a free expression of support, with no shares, ownership, voting rights, admission entitlement or purchase obligation. No marketing messages are sent. Hosting providers may process standard security and connection logs. This website uses no advertising or analytics cookies. The turnstile counts page views, including repeat visits and possible bots; it does not identify individual people. Temporary daily hashes of network addresses protect public forms from abuse; raw addresses are not stored by these features. Fan chat aliases and messages are public and unverified; report a post to hide it pending review. Hosting providers may retain connection logs.